visit in a dream from my brother

My brother died at the age of 13, when I was 4. My parents didn't know how to handle it themselves, not to mention how to tell a 4 year old! A lot of mystery to me about his disparture from my life...

A poem I wrote about a dream inwhich he visited me...I think I was around 20 when I had this dream.

The Attic Door
There's noone in the attic now.
But still I wait beside the door.
My brother met me there
In his Garden of Eden.
A wide open green
with forever blue sky
Welcomed me.
Nowhere else existed, while
the sun warmed me.
So clear and bright
Yet not too bright for my eyes to see.
For I saw him there, waiting;
To calm my fears and guilt
For coming no sooner.
A perfect setting, a perfect day.
He met me there to bid me peace
And let know;
Whatever I hear, it'll all be okay.
I have no need to go again
He gave me what he had.
And,now, to find my own garden,
My Narnia in this life.
To make my winter melt away,
And see the roses bud and bloom.
The thorns in life will prick me,
When I am careful and when I am not.
But even some prick or loss of blook
won't stain my soul or leave me dry.
(c)1999jsblankenship