Depression Glass Canister

Depression Glass.
Appropriate...
Pink with delicate etchings
42 years at its youngest

For a baby's room
My room
Its been with me that long....
So delicate, so capable
Like the cotton it held inside.

Filling it up again tonight
For the thousandth thousandth time,
I broke it
Shattered it to the floor
And with it came my tears.

It symbolized so much for me
About what I love and what I want
Gone, that's it
Beyond repair
Another piece of my life is gone

Why everything precious to me
Do I hurt or break or lose?
'...What is it in me that refuses to believe,
this isn't easier than the real thing?...'
I still can't process that line,
after 10 years of hearing her sing it
I have a mental block.

Do I have a cardiac block as well?
Am I beyond repair? Is this?
Has it shattered to the ground?
I know the words are shit
And actions are truer than thoughts
But I had even stopped talking to myself
And that truly is a shattered existance for me.
I can't live without my words
Can you live with them ?
A balance is all I ask, so what's precious inside my shadows
Doesn't tip the edge and fall........