Ecclesiates 3:1 - 8, 11 - 15

1 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

2 a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

 4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

5 a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 

6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to throw away; 

7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 

8 a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time for war, and a time for peace.

…

11 He has made everything suitable for its time;

moreover he has put a sense of past and future into their minds,

yet they cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. 

12 I know that there is nothing better for them

than to be happy and enjoy themselves as long as they live; 

13 moreover, it is God's gift that all should eat and drink and take pleasure in all their toil. 

14 I know that whatever God does endures forever;

 nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it;

God has done this, so that all should stand in awe before him. 

15 That which is, already has been;

 that which is to be, already is;

and God seeks out what has gone by.

 

A Good Sense of Direction...

I've always known where I am
And I have always known where I started.
What I don't always know,
Is where I am going
or how to get back to 'Square One'.

If I don't have a Map
for the Destinations I imagine
that I long to visit,
Then I can linger in places
that have no focus point.
I get caught up in visiting with the locals
Who don't quite care
That I'm simplyPassing Through...

Sometimes,I don't even care myself
that I am not 'Arriving'.
I so enjoy the scenery,
the local fare, the music
the air, the smells
and the peace and laughter;
that frankly, I am content
to simply stake my tent
for a while.

Am I lazy?
A little.
I've always laughed
that I was;
'Built for Comfort,
Not for Speed'.

But as I listened to
a Wonderful Storyteller
Recently
I realized that one of my
major BlocksTo the Flow of my Travel
is,
I don't haveA Good Sense of Direction.

My mother Certainly
didn't have one.
When I was a child,
We were lost in the car,
At least (!),
Once a Week...

And I, to this day, can get lost
So very easily
Trying to get somewhere.
But I Can Always Find my Way Out!
Luckily I have good Visual Memory
and remember the Turns I took incorrectly
And can reverse them to lead me home again.

But Unfortunately,
I don't have the innate gift
that Others seems to have.
Those that just Naturally know
that they have been on a road long enough
And that it is time to Turn.
And they can just sense Which Turn to Take,
in Order to reach their Destination.

Returning Home is never
Truly an option.
It's never the same. Never.
So,No matter if its a simple Walk in the Rain,
or an epic Road Trip;
My Destination must always
be Forward, not Backward.

I'm beginning to sense something:
Enough Turns for the time Being.
I have come a Long Way
in a very Short Time.
I like my surroundings,
and I'm learning much about myself
in this new land alone.
I am able, peaceful,
rich, deep and desirable.

My Direction?
Hovering Peace...
Connected Love...
Beauty Abounding...
It's not time for a Turn,
this I know.
My Camp Ground is soft and dry
and the music and warmth
are Nourishing my Soul.

I'll get where I'm going,
Eventually;
My senses Growing Stronger.
But this is definitely one of the Places
That would be on my Map;
If I had One.

(c)2008jsblankenship

More from Rilke

i beg you...to have patience with everything
unresolved in your heart
and try to love the questions themselves
as if they were locked rooms or books
written in a very foreign language.


Don't search for the answers,
which could not be given to you now,
because you would not be able to live them.


And the point is,
to live everything.
live the questions now.


Perhaps then,
someday far in the future,
you will gradually,
without even noticing it,
live your way into the answer...

Time Never Wasted

A Pondering of Time Wasted;
Fearful of '...Wasted Love...'

Time Spent Loving
is Never Wasted;

Love being Good
And Pure.

Love being All...

Love...
Real Love Never dies;
Never Ends.
But, Alas
Sometimes, Does change.

Love and Commitment
are Cousins Embraced.
Different entities sharing Illusionary
Purpose.

Love of Self...
Pure and Original;

Love of Self
Must Always be Present
in order to Let Love
Pass through us to Another.

If Absent,
the Emptier we become,
and Commitment becomes
a Lie of Sorts....

My Time was not
a Waste of Love...

My Love, is not now,
and Never has been,
a Waste of Time.

Nor was it ever a Lie.

my Commitments --
be they to others
or Myself --
I allowed to become
Lies in the End;
For I stopped
Learning to Love Myself.

The caring soul I have;
Knowing deeply
the Love that I feel,
the Love I possess,
Never intended to Hurt or Harm.

This Soul of Mine
Is Learning again
that to Love myself
and express Pure Love
to Another,
I Must be Impeccable
with Not only with What I DO say,
But also with What I DON'T say.

Love without Promise
Is it Less Love this way?

Commitment without Love
Is it More Valued that way?

I've known Love with Commitment
for a brief and Rapturous Time.
I would Trade that knowledge, that Pureness
for nothing...Nothing.

I've known Commitment without Love,
the Lack of Love I had for myself.
And Never felt emptier
or More Lost in Time and in Space.

And Now I embark on Love
Alone,
without Promise or Commitment;
Until it's time.
It's all I have to offer;
Love from my Heart,
from my Well-Loved Heart.

(c)2008jsblankenship

The Other Side of The Veil

It only makes Sense
that there has Always been
Two Sides
To That Veil
that has Always kept me Back.

I spoke of it as The Veil of Truth;
Tried to peer through its hazy
Transparency.
I felt so grandiose
simply because I could see,
That there was one.

The Knowledge of this
isolating bondage;
a bondage made from
the suffocating weight
of cheese cloth--
Allowed me to be Held in Place
Complacent,
Stuck,
Deceptive --
To myself and the others
Gracing me with their Love and Patience.

I wish I could say
"Suddenly, It was lifted"
But it has been a Long Hard Look
and a Work for a Determined,
Dark Soul.
But in the Light of the Morning's Dawn
I see....

I see that One side is Truth
The Other, Deception.
Deception of Self,
Lies to My self.

The Veil of Truth
is
The Veil of Deception.

They are One...

Cheese Cloth...
Transparent...
So Light,
So Precarious,
Yet so Strong
So Resistant
to Movement, Growth, Living...

Desire
Sweat
Sleeplessness
Admitting
Honesty
Tears
Trust
Despair
Hopelessness
Determination


All these, Cycling
Time and time, again.
And Strength...
To Pull the Cords
Such Heavy, Burdensome Cords
To Lift this Veil
That, in weight, is light enough
To be Blown away
with Just a Puff of Breath....
or a Seed of Faith.

If only it were that easy....
Alas, only worth the work you expend???
Exhausting but True...

I Spoke of This veil
As hiding from Me
'...That which is Essential...'
As it turns out;
It was Simply the Truth,
About Myself.
And that is The Most Essential
thing that We can Know.

And at this spot of Beauty
in my Journey,
I Can see So Clearly now
That I constantly
Fanned those Fireflies Away;
Away from the Delicacy of their Work
of Lifting That Veil.
But Back then,
I wasn't ready for anything more
Than the Protection it provided.
At certain points along the Journey,
We can only See so much.

We must keep Walking.
Keep Searching,
Listening
and Loving;
Loving Ourselves and those we are
Blessed with along the Road,
To gain the Strength --
To See with True Sight,
Our True Self.

(c)2008jsblankenship

The Going

"Hardy is better known for his novels, but some of his poetry is very good indeed, and he has the nineteenth century feel for things passing that culminated in the First World War. I found this poem in a anthology, and it was right for how I felt, right for the moment. So I have learned it. It makes me sad, it makes me cry, but it is a very good poem for the ripped heart." ~JW

by Thomas Hardy

Why did you give no hint that night
That quickly after the morrow’s dawn,
And calmly, as if indifferent quite,
You would close your term here, up and be gone
Where I could not follow
With wing of swallow
To gain one glimpse of you ever anon.

Never to bid goodbye,
Or lip me the softest call,
Or utter a wish for a word, while I
Saw morning harden upon the wall,
Unmoved, unknowing
That your great going
Had place that moment, and altered all.

Why do you make me leave the house
And think for a breath it is you I see
At the end of the alley of bending boughs
Where so often at dusk you used to be;
Till in darkening dankness
The yawning blankness
Of the perspective sickens me.

You were she who abode
By those red-veined rocks far West,
You were the swan-necked one who rode
Along the beetling Beeny Crest,
And, reining nigh me,
Would muse and eye me,While Life unrolled us its very best.

Why, then, latterly did we not speak,
Did we not think of those days long dead,
And ere your vanishing strive to seek
That time’s renewal? We might have said,
‘In this bright spring weather
We’ll visit together
Those places that once we visited.’

Well, well! All’s past amend,
Unchangeable. It must go.
I seem but a dead man held on end
To sink down soon… O you could not know
That such swift fleeing
No soul foreseeing –
Not even I – would undo me so.

Playing the Cards, Playing the Man…And the Broad

Chapter Five (Re-Posted) Chapter Six Coming Soon!

I know I’ve got the nuts. I’ve got Aces in the hole…if they can just hold up. But most times in this game it doesn’t matter what you hold, it’s what you do with what you’re dealt. I’ve been playing at this table for several hours – playing the same guys for several hours can be much like knowing someone for several months. You watch the way they act, the way they react. You get a feeling or determination on what their goals are and how and why they tend to get distracted from those goals. You see what they are like when they are confident, when they are scared, strong and weak. You try to learn what it looks like, how it feels when they are lying. And while you wait to catch a hand or make a move, you watch…you watch them wait.

If you play long enough or often enough with a guy, you can get to know aspects of him similar to how you know somebody from your own family, (you know a lot about how they act but still may not understand why). I don’t play with family. When you pass the pot around and play mind games, it only leads to trouble.

Some guys play their cards. This isn’t a game of cards – it’s a game of life, of communication. But I look to sit with those who know the difference. I can build my stacks playing both kinds of man, the one who plays his cards and the one who plays me. I can also lose it all. It’s easier to lose to a guy that knows the real game…

I’ve been playing with this guy on and off for a few months now. He’s a good guy…’been around the block a few times. He’s fought his battles, won some, lost others, and gained a lot of honor. He doesn’t have to play anymore. I think he plays now, just because it’s what you do…if it’s in your blood. You play, but your goals, your motivations change.

We’ve thrown the chips around between us a few times. He plays a real good game. I have a lot of respect for him, at and away from the table. And I try not to get involved in too many pots with him out of that respect. In an alley, in a bind, we’d be there for one another…I’d still take his money on a bluff, but I might take a good stiff hit for him and I know he’d do the same.

Lately, he’s become involved with this broad. I was real glad to hear him talk about the gal. He’s been alone a long time. I was glad….then I saw her. She’s beautiful…..and….we have a history between us. Emma….the war, we lost each other. Why? I was running the racket for a dangerous bunch. She was street smart and gorgeous and could always hold her own, but with the sweet soul she has and as young as she was then, she couldn’t trust I’d stick around, and, of course, I didn’t. So, we lost each other.

I don’t think he has a clue about us. I think we both want to keep it that way, but, perhaps, for different reasons…me, out of respect for him and fear of the knowledge that I never got over how this woman reads me. It’s powerful. We’ll leave it at that. Her? Security. And there’s an awful lot to be said about knowing your stacks are high and your deck is full of Paint; the faces, King Queen and Jack. Who can blame her? I wasn’t a sure thing back then.

Recently, he’s started bringing Emma to the club. And now she’s playing at my table, strategically. And she’s really sticking it to me. For the life of me, I can’t read that woman, never have been able to. Have never been able to decide whether it’s me or her that I can’t bring myself to trust. Emma plays a good game, that’s part of the problem. She’s shrewd; she draws in everyone around her and especially at a table in with her charms. She gorgeous – just a beautiful woman. Damn, I’ve never been able to steer clear around her. And forget about me playing a good game myself. I should be calling all bets off at this point and walk away…but I can’t leave, I just can’t fold this hand.

Aces. I told you I had the nuts. I’m holding pocket Aces. The Ace of Clubs and the Ace of Hearts. Knowledge and Love. My old addictions. And I’m not raising. I want to keep her in the hand, within reach. I'm not letting her in on what I have because I can focus on what she has going on in that pretty little head of hers. What does she want from me? Why is she back here after all these years? Coincidence? Luck of the Draw for me or am I about to really crap out? It's so foolish for me not to raise here and just get her out of the hand, out of my head. Hell, get myself out of this game, off this table and move on. I don't need this trouble in my life after all this time. But I’m not going to fold them either. I’m going to play them my own way, straight forward, no apologies -- the stakes are just too high now – and see where this new game, this new dance takes me.
(c)2008jsblankenship

In Search of the Burning Bush...

Life Without Parole

"You are hereby Sentenced
To the Term of Your Natural Life,
Without the Possibility
for Parole."

I imagine a man who is
Sentenced to Life Without Parole
For a Murder he did not Commit
Simply because he was Guilty
Of a Lesser Crime,

Has only left his Freedom
to Spend his Days Learning
Who he Is
And Who his God Is.

To Sleep, Eat
Exercise, Read
Pray and Meditate...
Mapping out His Life
of Learning Who he is
And Who his God is...

I am an Innocent Woman...

(c)2008jsblankenship

Shards

We Tried to Clean it All up.
We did,
Shivering, Quivering;
In the AfterShock
of Terror
And Panic,
We Tried to Tidy it All Up.

We Tried to Clean it Up Together
I guess Some Jobs,
If you Need it Done Well,
You have to Do Your Self...

But I keep Finding
Shards of Glass,
Shards of the Past,
Shards of Doubt,
Shards of Pain.
Red and Clear,
They Keep Showing Up,
No Matter What I Do.

Each Week One of Us finds Another Shard.

And Each One
Cuts Deep.
Cuts Me
Cuts She
Cuts Her.

I May not have Broken it
But I must have set It on it's Edge.
Handling it and It's Contents,
3 Fragile Hearts,
Precariously,
Thinking,
Hoping,
That it would Just Resolve Itself.

I should Know Better.

I'm Going to Try Hard
To Clean it All Up.
Let the Wounds Heal.
And Remember How
To Keep What I'm Given
From This Point on..
In a More Protective,
Loving Manner.

Super Glue
Won't fix This.
Only Time,
And Hard Work.

A Job For One.

(c)jsblankenship

"Emagene"

During Mom's fight she was very faithful in God's ability and desire to care for and heal her as much as her body would allow. She was always prayerful and actively participated in positive thinking or "imaging" in order to help the treatment rid her body of any illness. I never knew exactly what she imagined happening in her body whil this was being done, but she believed it and I believed it worked in some way for her. In my own small, inadequate way, I "imaged" the illness out of her body too, for that was really all I could do.

At the same time, Mother really became intriqued with Angels. We all had angels on our shoulders, in our homes and in our hearts during that time. We read stories adn shared poems about angels. We all came to believe in our Guardian Angels. Momma's good friend, Kathryn, supposedly knew how to find out who your Guardian Angel is. ! I don't know if Mother ever found out about her Angel or not. But she and I, in our own funny little story, came know and we knew her name...

I was visiting Mom one day at her house. It was just an ordinary afternoon with nothing particular to do or talk about. We were just being together, like we always enjoyed doing. I was sitting on the couch, she in her chair and the T.V. was on' as it always was in that house. I guess I was casually watching whatever was on T.V. because when I posed the question, I really didn't wait or listen for a reply.

"Have you been doing your imaging?" I asked. In my mind, I was thinking of all those soldiers of white blood cells marching through her body on a crusade against the evil they were up against.

"No, I guess I had better to get to my imaging!" she replied.

Since I really wasn't paying attention, it took me a few seconds to realize that she had actually said anything at all. I also misunderstood what she had said!

"Who's Emagene???"
"What do you mean, 'Who's Emagene?'"
"You said: 'I'd better call Emagene.', who's Emagene?"
"No! I said: I'd better do my Imagining!"

Well, Emagene was born! Momma's Guardian Angel was revealed. She had a name! And many times since that day, in fun and in hope, we'd "...call Emagene!"... I still do, and I am now...

(c)1994jsblankenship

For You, St. Claire...

http://www.myspace.com/enzoswift

Love,
Jack and Kitty Boy.....

For You, Poppa....

Beloved Wife

You were the love
for certain of my life
you were simply my beloved wife
I don't know for certain
how I'll live my life
now alone without my beloved wife
my beloved wife

I can't believe
I've lost the very best of me

you were the love
for certain of my life
you were simply my beloved wife
I don't know for certain
how I'll live my life
now alone without my beloved wife
my beloved wife

I can't believe
I've lost the very best of me

you were the love
for certain of my life
for 50 years simply my beloved wife
with another love I'll never lye again
it's you I can't deny
it's you I can't defy
a depth so deep
into my grief
without my beloved soul
I renounce my life
as my right
now alone without my beloved wife
my beloved wife

my beloved wife
my love is gone she suffered long
in hours of pain
my love is gone
now my suffering begins
my love is gone
would it be wrong if I should
surrender all the joy in my life
go with her tonight?

my love is gone she suffered long
in hours of pain
my love is gone
would it be wrong if I should
just turn my face away from the light
go with her tonight?

~Natalie Merchant

I Need:

Shelter
Peaceful, Uniterrupted Sleep
Healthy, Balanced, Regular Nutrition
Water
Income
Caring, Productive, Honest Work
Friendship
Prayer
Worship
Honest Communication
Music
Love
Touch
Wonder
Poetry
Stories
Laughter
Accomplishment
To experience My Life in my Own Way
Acceptance
Family contact, Trust
Trust...Coming In
Trust...Going Out

Yesterday's Coffee...

Yesterday's Coffee
Is Cold
Even warmed up

Yesterday's Coffee
is certainly Bitter
Bitter isn't necessarily Strong
It's just Bitter...

It does the trick
It's medicinal
It'll do in a Pinch

But it Certainly doesn't matter what Mug it is in
It could be Yesterday's
Yesterday's Coffee
in Yesterday's Mug...

It's time to Clean House
Get back to a Routine
So I can Rise Early,
Rested
With Time Enough (at Last)
to Slowly
Make the Perfect Brew...
Strong,
And Sweet....

(c)2008jsblankenship

Make Voyages. Attempt them. There is nothing else.

~Tennessee Williams

It Felt Good to Work Today !

Lord,
I am Thankful Today for:

The opportunity to help those in need.

The opportunity to continue to express the Self you have made me to be.

"Sweet Home Alabama"

The Love that is shown to me by Your Grace alone.

Forgiveness.

Family members who continue to Reach Out to me
(even in my stubbornness to be Silent)

Life-Long Friends who Love (mostly) Unconditionally (Dr. Jones)

Non-Judgemental Aquaintences

My Life.....

Out of Water....Sorjourning...Mapping out a Life

Veil of Truth (Revealed)

Behind This Veil;
I See..
Only what I Want and Need to See

This Veil Of Truth
Only Hides
That Which is Essential
From Me

How To Lift It,
This Veil, From my Eyes
Will Take on The delicacy
Of a Thousand Wings,
Wings Of Fireflies

The Protection from Which
I Crave
I Can See more than Enough
To Light my Way,
And Find My Truth

But do I Fan these Wings Away,
Fan away with My Hand
The Only Light
Away from Hope,
The only Hope I Have, Truth.
I Have Truth.
Truth.

(c)2008jsblankenship (3/12/08)

Shared with Me about 3 Weeks ago in an email from a Very Unlikely Source...Been Holding onto it. It is very Appropriate Today...sm2

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.

Great Quote

"Don't you just love these long rainy afternoons in New Orleans when an hour isn't just an hour - but a little piece of eternity dropped into our hands... and who knows what to do with it?"

-Blanche DuBois, "A Streetcar Named Desire"

Aloha, Mahalo and Aloha....

Aloha: Hello
Mahalo: Thank you
Aloha: Goodbye

Aloha
You did have me at Hello...
Don't ever forget what I told you
About the first vision of you

Mahalo
For all the times of fun
The shoulders of support
The growth
The patience
The Love
Mahalo....

Aloha
I never wanted to Hurt you like this
Never...
I'm sorry
I Miss what we were
But know Aloha is needed
Now
Leaving Room
for Another,
Aloha...

(c)2008jsblankenship

DisMantling

Dismantling and Disecting
Every little thing of the last 8 years
Dismantling this House
Disecting the Flow
The Flow of Errors
of Unspoken Hurts
The Flow of Disappointments

Dismantling this Union
Disecting our parts
Standing amidst the Rubble
Wondering:
How did this take Place?

Dismantling a Love
Disecting a Cancer
That allowed It to grow into Nothing
But It will Never be Nothing
It will Always be Something
Something Special in my Heart

Dismantled, Disected
Into pieces
Bit by Bit
I tried to help you Understand
the Best way that I could

The task I see, impossible
Not for lack of wanting
Not for lack of caring
Not for lack...
Only because the Pain too blinding
I hope that in pieces, one Day
you may See Clearly
Hear Clearly
The Truths I have told you

My Pain is Large too
You have to know that
All that you have dismantled, disected and disgarded
Back to meWas never a Lie
What we had wasn't a Lie
And What I hold Dear will Always be True
the 1, 2, 3, 4
the So Much Too...
the 222
It breaks my Heart too

I will never have Hate in my Heart for you
I simply and catastrophically had to grow from You
And, I see, You from Me too.

Grace, I pray
Will bestow Us
and Lead us both
Like it Always has
Try to Hold onto that Small Piece for me
It won't Hurt to try
Just tuck it away
Far and Deep Away
And If I ever find Shelby...........

(c)2008jsblankenship

DreamCrasher

A Dream Catcher hangs above my head at night
A Web woven to catch my good dreams
Let the bad ones fly right through

It never worked.
I still have Bad Dreams
And can't seem to remember the Good Ones
Come Morning.....
I should have gotten my money back...

Now what hangs Over my Head
More Prominently,
Is the very plain fact
That I am a Dream Crasher

I take something Precious to someone else
Inspect it, Judge it and hand it Back
Crumbled, Revealed, Explained away
Crashed

I'm a Dream Crasher
No room in the neighborhood
For the likes of me........
Dream Crasher.....
Pain, Shame and Reproach
These are my Rewards
DreamCrasher,
That's me......

(c)2008jsblankenship

Veil

Behind,
I
Only
Want

This Veil
Only Hides
From me

How
This Veil,
Will Take On
Of a Thousand Wings,

The Protection
I Crave
To Light my Way

But Do I Fan These Wings
the Only Light
The only Hope
I Have Truth.

(c)2008jsblankenship

Get There

I want to get there with you
I know you climbed faster than me
I can only go as fast as this ole heart of mine will allow

There, is the Truth
There, is Calling
I'm just running out of Breath
I need Water and Rest
And Clear thinking,
Feeling

Throw me A line?
No, I guess I have to get There
on my Own Strength
Or I won't really be There At all,
Again........

An Ember

Fire,
It starts as a Spark
Depending on the Conditions around
That spark can Catch and Spread
Like Wild
And Ignite everything around.

Its unstoppable once Begun
If Conditions are Wet
Like after a Rain,
The Spark might not Catch
or May snuff Out
Quite Quickly.

Hard Work,
Cold Nights,
Stiff Hands,
Nimble Fingers
Frozen,
Numb...............

But Once its starts.........
Magical...
See it in your Eyes,
Burning the Blue and Lager-Brown
Burn the Truth into your hide.....
So to Hide is No Longer what you need.

Burn, Burn So Bright
That I can Find you........
You can Find You......
After all the Storms
Have quieted Away
After all...........
Burn Brightest
For you

(c)2008jsblankenship

If Anyone....

Tells me I'm just Human
One more Time,
I just may raise up my head
And breathe Fire on them.......

If Anyone were to tell me
That I would be here Today
I would have laughed them off
As Insane

If Anyone knows
The Pain I have caused
Would you please come
Rip my Heart out

If Anyone could even Guess
How Sad you can be
by Causing such Pain
Inside and Out
Would they Ever............?

I spread my infection
To innocent souls
Cast Lots for my Heart
And Gambled Away your Souls

If Anyone Could tell You
How Sorry I am
They would Obviously
Hold the Gift of Angels Voices

I'm afraid I don't hear any singing..........

(c)2008jsblankenship

Depression Glass Canister

Depression Glass.
Appropriate...
Pink with delicate etchings
42 years at its youngest

For a baby's room
My room
Its been with me that long....
So delicate, so capable
Like the cotton it held inside.

Filling it up again tonight
For the thousandth thousandth time,
I broke it
Shattered it to the floor
And with it came my tears.

It symbolized so much for me
About what I love and what I want
Gone, that's it
Beyond repair
Another piece of my life is gone

Why everything precious to me
Do I hurt or break or lose?
'...What is it in me that refuses to believe,
this isn't easier than the real thing?...'
I still can't process that line,
after 10 years of hearing her sing it
I have a mental block.

Do I have a cardiac block as well?
Am I beyond repair? Is this?
Has it shattered to the ground?
I know the words are shit
And actions are truer than thoughts
But I had even stopped talking to myself
And that truly is a shattered existance for me.
I can't live without my words
Can you live with them ?
A balance is all I ask, so what's precious inside my shadows
Doesn't tip the edge and fall........

Water Fowl

Stand Tall
Stand High upon your perch
Clean and Proud.

Wing span stretched out above the water,
Frigid Wind underneath your wing
Serves to Hold you up.

"Notice Me," I silently cry out.
Carelessly craning his head my way.

Effortlessly, you Decide your Path.
How envious I am of your Freedom,
Your whim and perhaps unbroadcasted Purpose.

Stand Tall
Wing Span revealed,
Lean Forward,
Take Flight.
"Take me with you,
I want to soar just inches
Above the Water,
Across the Bay..."

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