Shards

We Tried to Clean it All up.
We did,
Shivering, Quivering;
In the AfterShock
of Terror
And Panic,
We Tried to Tidy it All Up.

We Tried to Clean it Up Together
I guess Some Jobs,
If you Need it Done Well,
You have to Do Your Self...

But I keep Finding
Shards of Glass,
Shards of the Past,
Shards of Doubt,
Shards of Pain.
Red and Clear,
They Keep Showing Up,
No Matter What I Do.

Each Week One of Us finds Another Shard.

And Each One
Cuts Deep.
Cuts Me
Cuts She
Cuts Her.

I May not have Broken it
But I must have set It on it's Edge.
Handling it and It's Contents,
3 Fragile Hearts,
Precariously,
Thinking,
Hoping,
That it would Just Resolve Itself.

I should Know Better.

I'm Going to Try Hard
To Clean it All Up.
Let the Wounds Heal.
And Remember How
To Keep What I'm Given
From This Point on..
In a More Protective,
Loving Manner.

Super Glue
Won't fix This.
Only Time,
And Hard Work.

A Job For One.

(c)jsblankenship

"Emagene"

During Mom's fight she was very faithful in God's ability and desire to care for and heal her as much as her body would allow. She was always prayerful and actively participated in positive thinking or "imaging" in order to help the treatment rid her body of any illness. I never knew exactly what she imagined happening in her body whil this was being done, but she believed it and I believed it worked in some way for her. In my own small, inadequate way, I "imaged" the illness out of her body too, for that was really all I could do.

At the same time, Mother really became intriqued with Angels. We all had angels on our shoulders, in our homes and in our hearts during that time. We read stories adn shared poems about angels. We all came to believe in our Guardian Angels. Momma's good friend, Kathryn, supposedly knew how to find out who your Guardian Angel is. ! I don't know if Mother ever found out about her Angel or not. But she and I, in our own funny little story, came know and we knew her name...

I was visiting Mom one day at her house. It was just an ordinary afternoon with nothing particular to do or talk about. We were just being together, like we always enjoyed doing. I was sitting on the couch, she in her chair and the T.V. was on' as it always was in that house. I guess I was casually watching whatever was on T.V. because when I posed the question, I really didn't wait or listen for a reply.

"Have you been doing your imaging?" I asked. In my mind, I was thinking of all those soldiers of white blood cells marching through her body on a crusade against the evil they were up against.

"No, I guess I had better to get to my imaging!" she replied.

Since I really wasn't paying attention, it took me a few seconds to realize that she had actually said anything at all. I also misunderstood what she had said!

"Who's Emagene???"
"What do you mean, 'Who's Emagene?'"
"You said: 'I'd better call Emagene.', who's Emagene?"
"No! I said: I'd better do my Imagining!"

Well, Emagene was born! Momma's Guardian Angel was revealed. She had a name! And many times since that day, in fun and in hope, we'd "...call Emagene!"... I still do, and I am now...

(c)1994jsblankenship